Today I experimented with "dusting" for the first time - you guys ever try this shit?
Dusting refers to the use of various household cleaning products and supplies to rid one's apartment of dirt, hair and other unmentionables - "dust", as it is known colloquially.
The initial tingling and feelings of self-satisfaction, which lasted about 45 minutes, felt great - but I soon found myself growing weary around the 60-minute mark. Objects began to take on a certain shine or glow, and suddenly I felt like I was seeing everything for the first time - the true "essence" of all things, if you will.
As the experience came to a close, I found myself reveling in an afterglow of self-worth and gratification, and my toilet had become a sparkling porcelain testament to man's greatness.
Then all the dust bunnies fused together to form a rabbit king which then CAME TO LIFE AND TRIED TO KILL ME!!!!!!